Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Donald Trump has come in for some good-natured teasing over the matter of his faith.  The Twitterverse has erupted with thousands of comments.  Here's a sampling for those in need of a bit of humor...

I love God. He's a builder. Made the world in 6 days. That's YUUUUUUUGE. I would have used more marble. But He did a nice job. #TrumpBible

I have a lot of Jewish friends. Jesus is one of them. Great guy. Cherishes women. The blacks love him. The Hispanics love him. #TrumpBible

"I'm gonna build a pyramid and I'm going to do it without letting your people go." # TrumpBible

"Jesus wasn't a martyr. He's a martyr because he was crucified. I like people that weren't crucified, ok I hate to tell you." #TrumpBible

"I'm not saying Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem. I'm just saying show me the birth certificate." #TrumpBible

Scribe: Which is the greatest commandment?
Jesus: Sit down. Nobody called on you. Go back to Jerusalem. #TrumpBible

Cain, Abel, both good friends. Cain got into agriculture, bad business. But he murdered his competition. That's leadership. #TrumpBible

Jesus wept. "I like saviors who don't weep." #TrumpBible

Don't get me wrong: Jesus? Great guy, classy. But a terrible executive. I would never tolerate a traitor within my organization. #TrumpBible

Samaria sends us their murderers, their rapists, and some, I assume, are good Samaritans. #TrumpBible

Jesus turned water into wine. The good stuff. Not that garbage they serve at some places. #TrumpBible

The Romans are the best. Just the best. You've got to know how to talk to them. You like that aqueduct? I like the aqueduct. #TrumpBible

There was no room at the inn. Mary and Joseph should have gone to a Trump resort. Classy. Myrrh like you can't imagine. #TrumpBible

"Lemme explain something to you: the lenders in the temple are just using the established laws to conduct legitimate business." #TrumpBible

Ruth said: "Do not urge me to leave you," but Boaz replied, "You snuck in here. You're disgusting. Get away from my feet." #TrumpBible

That tower in Shinar is a terrible place. Awful. You can't understand what anybody's saying. Too many illegal immigrants. #TrumpBible

"Blessed are the rich in spirit. The poor are a bunch of losers and chumps."  #TrumpBible

And Esau, who by the way was a loser and a terrible negotiator, said "What is birthright citizenship to me?" #TrumpBible

And He said, "go forth and harass minorities. Do this in remembrance of me." #TrumpBible

And Jesus said to them, "It is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, but I am REALLY, REALLY rich." #TrumpBible

"Render unto Trump that which is Trump's, with eminent domain." #TrumpBible

I like the guys God doesn't test. Not like that loser Job. #TrumpBible

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father without a cracker and his juice cup #TrumpBible

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of 5th Avenue I will fear no evil, for my checkbook is with me” #TrumpBible

"The Samaritans are dirty and low class. They're not sending us their best people." #TrumpBible

To protect Jericho, I'm gonna build these HUGE, CLASSY walls. With beautiful gates. Gonna protect everybody. #TrumpBible

"Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, haters and losers, into the eternal fire, which is Mexico.'" #TrumpBible

He approached Jesus to kiss him, but Jesus said to him, "Judas, you're FIRED." #TrumpBible

I'll feed these 5000 but I'm gonna make the Samaritans pay for it #TrumpBible

The Trump Tower and Casino of Babel is the biggest and most luxurious anywhere, and it's a huge success #TrumpBible

This Goliath guy, he's HUGE loser. David, he's a real classy winner. Used his sling to Make the Israelites Great Again. #TrumpBible

Jesus. Good guy. Nice guy. He's lucky I wasn't around then. He would've had no chance, no chance being the son of god over me. #TrumpBible

Trump: I love the Bible
Q: What's your favorite passage?
Trump: "It is better to be feared than loved, if you can't be both" #TrumpBible

#TrumpBible is tremendous. Those other hashtags are LOSERS. <>

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